Kayla | 27 | bisexual | nonbinary
Photography is my hobby and my passion. Mostly digital or phone photos, though I'm starting to break into film as well 📷
everything in my photography tags belongs to me
please don't repost my work
I also reblog things I'm interested in and love seeing and sharing any kind of art on here 🖤
my cat's appointment is today. he's completely stopped sneezing and his eye has cleared up quite a bit but he's still going in just to get to the root of the problem. i hope they tell me my boy is ok
SO he has some kind of deformation/birth defect where his one eyelid is shaped wrong and allows his hair to directly touch his eyeball (I always just thought he had a weird shaped eye) and now that he's older his immune system couldn't handle it or something and he got a mild infection. everything is good on that front.
unfortunately they said he's got a few teeth that will need to be pulled soon when I'm able to get the money together. I'll have to call again and get a better estimate.
i'm going to set up a donation post on tumblr soon when i have more info on a price range (i talked to a different vet and they said to pull every tooth would be around $1500, but this vet said he doesn't need them all pulled, but still needs several pulled, they just won't really know until they get him asleep and actually get into the mouth)
i'm not too stressed about it since i'll start working next week, and i'm gonna talk to my boss and tell her i'll take as many hours as they're allowed to give me. but things aren't as bad as i thought they'd be.
for now he's got antibiotic drops for his eye, and if he gets another infection (hopefully he doesn't) they can do some kind of surgery to cut a part of his lower eyelid, and kind of fold it back down so there's no fur anywhere around the eye? the vet said he'd never actually seen that condition in an animal and only read about it so he's not too sure what needs to be done
My job is going to find out what date it opens sometime next week! I asked for part time hours but I have no ideas what days I'll be working or for how long. So I'll probably be more inactive on here for a bit but I definitely won't be leaving or anything! Things will just be rough when I first start after not working for almost a year. I'll probably be too exhausted to use social media much tbh
next big step in organization is stuffed animals as soon as some big stuffed toy nets I ordered come in. It's gonna be the most difficult because I definitely have a lot that need to be let go of but I've always had a hard time letting go of the fact that stuffed toys don't have feelings. They got me through so much in my childhood, and I was starting to be better about it but then working in a thrift store we still threw away hunderds of perfectly lovely stuffed toys every week to make space and because they get donated the most out of all the toys. now i've got it in my head that any i donate are probably going to end up in the trash and it's killing me to imagine that tbh. but i'm trying to let go of things. and all the kids in my family are either too far away or have outgrown them (ironic that i'm the oldest in the family) so it's time to just take some photos for the memories and then send them on their way whatever may happen to them. i may even do like a free yard-sale type thing and just put them outside to see if anyone around the neighborhood wants them
so you guys know i got the job i wanted but how i got it is so great
we were driving from colorado to here and it had been over a 10 hour drive and it was miserable. pearl got horrifically sick on the drive and we had to pull over on the side of the highway to clean everything up. the moving truck didn't have a cd player so the cd i made was useless and i had packed up the aux cord so we drove in silence for most of the ride. then the gps says we're like 5 minutes from the house we're moving into and it's like 10pm at night and we pull onto a side-street and behind a bunch of fences you just see these huge roller coasters and then the entrance and sign for the park and I just looked at JJ and said "I'm gonna work there!" and he just kind of shook his head and told me I should apply but not to get my hopes too high because they probably got a ton of applicants. Then we went down one street like a mile and pulled into our new driveway and I realized we were actually within walking distance (I don't drive)
The park wasn't supposed to open until April and we got here early March right before the quarantine really started. So I put in an application after I found the info on their website and I actually made a resume and everything, then 2 weeks later they called me for an interview and she told me at the end of the interview that I got the job. It was incredible and that's basically how I got my last job too at a thrift shop because I wanted to work there SO BADLY.
And I think I'm gonna be really happy like I was at the last place because I don't just need a job desperatly and I just actually really want to work in a theme park like that. I'm going nuts that they haven't opened because I just want to start working so much! And on my days off I get free admission so I'm going to be able to take so many photos of my very favorite aesthetic 💘
Haven't heard any real info on when they're supposed to open yet but hopefully by July. I'm getting stir crazy lol
I have a horrible habit of mass downloading songs because I like one or two things from someone and then ending up with a ton of content on my ipod that I don't even like but it triggered some kind of special interest thing so I had to have everything by them and I'm doing another mass delete of my music folder, but it's so refreshing to get rid of 1-200 songs and just know that the stuff that's left is really important feeling
i can't start displaying my books and toys/figurines for a few weeks until we can start getting some bookshelves but I finally have one of my long-time goals which is my own bedroom to make into a library/personal area and even going in there with the packed boxes still makes me so happy because I can see exactly how I'm going to make it and it's so close even if I have to wait a bit. It's worth it. And I can already feel some creative gears turning! I can't wait to figure out which box has my art supplies and my notebooks ♥
one more roommate story but it's more funny and he's gone so it should be the very last thing ever between us. AND it's validation for me being right about him failing us and I just need to put this out here cause I think you'll all appreciate it after following my adventures (kinda long so I'll put it under a cut)
now as you probably know from my donation post floating around, we have been having a hard time getting the money together for the deposit, rent, and a moving truck. We desperatly need the moving truck though because we just have a very small car.
one of roommate's grand ideas about a year ago was buying a "food truck" that's actually an old SWAT truck from the 70's. He stopped working on it after a day and it's only been driven once since he got it to bring it home from a craigslist meetup.
2 days ago roommate is mildly drunk and starts going off on this great idea. The next day we'll simply load our things into the food truck and he'll drive that and we drive our car to KC. THEN, JJ drives back to Denver with roommate in the food truck together and from there to California with JJ driving the food truck and roommmate driving his truck so he can get all his vechicles home. then he'd buy JJ a plane ticket back to KC.
Guys I was FREAKING OUT about this whole plan. Straight bawling and begging JJ to not listen to him and that the money saved on the moving truck means nothing if we get fucked over and don't have the moving truck (especially since JJ was about to cancel plans with friends to drive out here to help us move)
I was such a mess that JJ ended up talking to just about everyone in his life asking for advice. Most of them were agreeing with me based on the history of us telling them about how flakey roommate tends to be and other grand ideas he's had. But his brother was just adamant that we needed to let roommate help us. We'd save money, and I'd "only" be alone in the brand new house for 2 days it'll all be fine. One thing JJ kept insisting is that "roommate won't screw us, because he needs our help too" I was adamant that this plan can't go through we CANNOT depend on roommate.
So I call my grandma and she tells me I'm right and then she talks to JJ and gives him a long speech about how she's experienced a lot of people in life and people like that don't just change on a whim. About how badly he's treated me and people like that can't really be depended on for much and just kind of convinces him that maybe we need to do something else.
We come home from the post office not even 12 hours after the initial proposal of the food truck idea and he literally already has the food truck filled up almost completely with his own stuff. He then tells me "Oh yeah, I'm not sure what we're gonna do about moving you guys need to make a plan" as if we had never had a single talk with him about any of this. AND he's talking about how JJ still needs to drive back to Denver to finish helping him move even though he hasn't come close to fulfilling his part of the deal, and is in fact gone while we're moving over the next day.
I have never felt SUCH VALIDATION as when I saw that thing full of his shit. I came and told JJ immediately and he's incredibly grateful he didn't tell his friends to cancel their own plans because if he had we'd be in a MUCH worse situation than we were to begin with. I just can't believe it. After everything he can't even do a single nice thing to help us in the end. Maybe if he had really intended to help we wouln't be planning on blocking him from everything but just wow.
Then he had the nerve to give us a box of trash bags and told us to pick up the garbage (in his portion of the house btw) and just drag it all out to the road for trash day for him. LMAO we have somewhere else to go buddy you can't scare us with a fear of being homeless anymore. I just feel so good knowing I was right to trust my gut and didn't just immediately fold
sometimes i just want to write down everything the roommate has done to insult us or lie to us or just lie in general but it's just so much and it'll end up sounding whiney if i just go on a long rant, but he is truly one of the worst people i've ever met and i can't believe he fooled us for 5 years before we finally moved in with him. but looking back there were so many red flags. the first year we met him was also his second year in colorado and when he'd have a bbq he'd have like 10-15 people coming over and the last couple years he's invited everyone to all his events and they just don't show up. and i'm realizing it was probably never his friends just unjustly ghosting him, he just probably treated them like crap too. and i know based on things he's directly told me that he treated the gfs of his last two roommates like crap and he treated his ex like dirt after they stopped dating.
everyone in his life is "crazy" or "they just became an asshole out of nowhere" and it's starting to make sense when people say that if you think every person you've ever hung out with is insane then maybe you should look at your own self
if we ever have another roommate it will be us letting someone stay with us (still very unlikely for a while) but i'll never put my life into someone else's hands like this. 2019 was easily one of the worst years of my life and i can't wait to start getting over all this trauma by just not having to walk on egg shells anymore in case something sets him off to rant about how useless i am
feelin some feelings about gender representation
I used to be really creative when I was a kid and I love to draw and do little crafts for fun. But I got constantly picked on and my works made fun of by family and friends. I wasn't good at doing creative things but I had fun and would be proud and it really just hurt me so much that so many people would mock me and especially my own family members and friends I talked to daily and always supported. Now I'm this ball of anxiety when it comes to crafts and I can hardly get myself to do anything because of all the pressure from the past.
I think the realization that I did used to do crafts and stuff has helped a lot though. I had somehow convinced myself I just never did artistic things, but remembering how much fun I had as a kid really makes me want to dive into it again.
It just feels kinda pathetic to start trying to learn how to do crafts and draw at almost 30 :c
i've had my tumblr since 2013 and only have a little under 8k posts on there and i've been here less than a year and have almost 2.5k posts and i think it's cause i don't feel like i need to maintain a certain aesthetic on this site and also it's just happier here. i like sharing text posts and reblogging comments on mine or others posts. it's just nice c:
i got my film back today and a ton of really nice shots came out! i'm definitely not going to do anymore film until after we move and i find a cheap place to develop photos. walgreens charged almost $80 for 4 cameras and a good 20+ photos were missing because of the quality so it would have been even more expensive uggh
i'm starting to do some research into developing and scanning my own film but i'd just like to find a reliable shop with reasonable prices or even someone on craigslist cause it's not like i take lewd photos
anyway i'm excited to have more film to share and to eventually get some more done :)
I reaaaally like the photos you take, and I normally don't vibe with photography blogs but you have such a nice aesthetic. How long have you been taking photos and what got you started? ฅ( ̳• ·̫ • ̳ฅ)♡
That's so nice of you to say!! And I'm so glad to hear that you enjoy them. My ultimate goal in sharing photos is making people happy c:
my origin story is a little long so i'm putting it under a cut
(my actual camera)
And I sadly couldn't use it much but it still made me really excited about photography. A few years later I got a cheap digital camera for a birthday or something and used it constantly (unfortunately I've lost most of those photos), in high school I got a slightly better digital camera and used it to take pictures of all of my friends and school adventures.
I didn't really start getting into more artistic photography until after I graduated and started tumblr and got inspired by a lot of photographers on there. I mostly used my phone camera so you can tell the photos from my first smart phones aren't very good quality. Then last year my husband bought me a really nice dslr camera that you can change the lenses on and everything. Having that camera made me want to get even more into taking photos so I just started bringing it to any kind of event thing, and buying my phones based on how good the camera is.
Now it's jus my favorite thing to do! I love capturing little moments of beauty ♥
i'm going to get my film developed for part of my christmas present and i'm trying to use up my last disposeable camera so i can go get it taken care of but i also only want to take pictures that are important to me with the film because you have to pay for every photo basically. i also have a roll of film that was in my grandpa's camera that i got when he passed away and he only took like 4 photos and the film is waaaaay expired but i hope they turn out at least a little bit. i'd really love to know what he took pictures of
oh man i have a few exposures left on a disposable camera and we're going to try to go to the botanic gardens on monday or tuesday so i can fill up the rest of it and i'm so happy. i took some photos of beautiful things and i reaally hope they all turn out well. i tried to be really careful with lighting this time
i'm gonna try to get my disposable cameras developed sometime this month or next month and if every picture comes out i'll have 108 new photos but i'm hoping at least 50-75 turn out well
then instead of disposable cameras, when we move i'm going to start buying film and using my film cameras. i think they'll be much higher quality photos too
I have this weird problem about not starting any kind of artistic projects until life feels more permanent but the past decade has been so full of moving around and constant life changes and all I can see in the future is even more of that so I need to learn how to just work around my crazy life and stop waiting for it to calm down around me
I thiiiink we're leaning towards just moving to California in the spring but I'm still not totally sure on the when or the exact how and honeslty I just want to get it done and out of the way so I can stop stressing about the future packing and relocating with 8 different animals. I also have a lot of craft and photography projects I want to do but I don't want to start anything big until after we move because that's ideally going to be a semi-permanent home for us for a good while
I just hate moving stress specifically and I want to get into the comfort of knowing I'll be staying somewhere longterm. I haven't had that kind of comfort in a looooong time since we wander so much
I am officially back home and back to my normal schedule :) The trip was nice and we ended up going to the Memphis zoo and that was a lot of fun. And it was nice to see a lot of the family and our friends down there, especially since a lot of them are kind of stuck in positions where it's almost literally impossible for any of them to come visit us (especially since no one with a full family can really stay with us and hotels just aren't a realistic option for people deep in poverty cycles)
My cat was very happy to see me and has been following me around and meowing at me until I lift him and let him sniff my nose like he enjoys ♥
And now hopefully we're done taking any more trips for a while until we move because stuff is definitely starting to come to a head with all that whether we're ready to deal with it or not. Just kinda waiting to see where life takes us